worrying

Sad news. You know the missing teacher I talked about two or three posts ago? She was found dead by a creekbed. It's a suspected suicide.
Its strange. Last year she was so...on top of it. She was so blunt and lively that you never would have known. But I guess you never really know what people are going through from looking on the outside.
My heart goes out to her friends and family. I can't even imagine what it must feel like for her family.
Its such a shock. I mean, we all knew something was wrong when she never came back. But part of me wanted to keep believing that she had run off to some extraordinary far away place and that we'd only find her when she wanted us to. Hearing it on the news makes it so definite, leaving no room for hope or imagination.

So anyway, this is an awkward transition.
I feel stupid worrying about my grades when something so serious and extreme happened but I can't help it. Besides, I can't think about that anymore. Its makes me too sad.
My parents have been asking me about my grades and why a report card hasn't showed up. My answer was that one was coming in a few weeks. They're talking about going to the school and asking them so I've got to act quick. Sometime this week I'll have to go to school and print out my grades - find someway to hide the D or make it disappear. I'll probably use our copy machine and paste a B or something on top of it.
Its childish, I know. But they can't find out. I'd be dead. They are the stereotypical asian parents who wont take anything lower than a B.

School tomorrow will be weird. I wonder what the teachers will say. I'm not looking forward to it. XOXO