Tumblring

I've made a tumblr! And no, I didn't abandon this blog for that one, my tumblr is just for a bunch of random things (reblogs, rants, etc.). I probably won't ever get as personal there as I did here (..I was personal right? I didn't just blog in my head? ..Unsure), I just think it's fun.
So you want, go follow me on : iliveinsideashell.tumblr.com

talking to me..

Do you guys talk to yourself? Because I do. Alot. And sometimes it's even a full out standing in front of the mirror having a partially one sided conversation with my thoughts occasionally responding to the audible me. Most of the times it's in my head though.
And what's weirder is that I can sit at my desk talking to myself in my makeup mirror for like twenty minutes but when I'm trying to have a conversation with the cute boy in my biology class, I can't think of anything to say.
I guess it's because I hate small talk. It's so hard for me. Especially if the other person isn't a great small talker either. Because then your both sitting and struggling to find words. With myself, there's no need to bring up anything relevant. I can say anything and everything that comes to mind.
With other people, especially people in class you're just aquentences with it's harder. Like, what if I don't want to talk about the homework, the upcoming test, or how insane the teacher is? What then?
Seriously, I suck at small talking. The last non school related conversation had with the before mentioned cute boy was about...yogurt? Yeah. Yogurt.
Why am I so socially awkward?
You know those people that are just like awesome conversationalists? I mean, it doesn't even have to be an actual conversation but there are some people that you immediately connect with because they said something funny or witty, like the funny cashier who commented on your candy corn purchase or that guy who walked up to you and just launched into a random awkward story. Those people who are so sure of them selves and actually know what they want to say. I want to be like them. I just wish I knew how.

ewww, finals week

I know I haven't actually blogged in a while. Cute quotes and two sentence posts don't count.
I guess I'm just not as good at rambling as I was when I first started blogging. ..Or I've just run out of ramble material. Either way, I've been pretty absent.

Its FINALS week. Only two more days left. I'm so drained from late night cramming and taking tests that are wayyy longer than my attention span. I'm exhausted.
Plus, I have a cold. It occured to me (while I was taking my spanish final. ha.) that I always get sick around finals week first semester. I know I was sick for my sophomore, junior, and now, senior year. I'm not sure about freshman year. I can't remember if I was or not, but it's likely. Especially because it's turned into a bit of a tradition.
An awkward one, but a tradition nonetheless. Sniffing and trying to quietly blow your nose while people are silently taking their tests is such an uncomfortable thing. Too bad I can't avoid it.

Tomorrow I have my AP Biology and Art finals.
I'm trying to study for Bio, which means that I basically have to learn a semester's worth of knowledge in a few hours. It's hard. Most of the test focuses on photosynthesis and cellular respiration. My brain doesn't retain that kind of information. Chemical formulas, ATP, NADH, H+, and Aceytl CoA? Nope. I can do population ecology and enzymatic reactions because it's logical. Memorizing a bunch of steps and atoms that I don't understand? It's gonna be a challenge.

"I think you could fall in love with anyone if you saw the parts of them that no one else gets to see. Like if you followed them around invisibly for a day and you saw them crying in their bed at night or singing to themselves as they make a sandwich or even just walking along the street and even if they were really weird and had no friends at school, I think after seeing them at their most vulnerable you wouldn’t be able to help falling in love with them. ”

i'm supposed to be studying..

and I will.

But I want to watch The Notebook, A Walk to Remember, The Time Traveler's Wife, or The Titanic sooo badly. And I'm not going to lie, I did just check my DVD shelf to see if any of those movies was under an hour but they weren't.

I'm going on a fieldtrip tomorrow - this Bioneers Conference thing, so I have a lot work to do today. I planned on having the weekend to finish all my lab and test corrections for AP Biology, but my teacher said that I had to take the test tomorrow, no exceptions. So, yay to a night of studying and getting to school at 7:10 to take a test. Then, off to the Bioneers thing where I will be untill 8:00 pm. Great.


In spite of all I have to do tonight, I am so tempted to just watch The Notebook right now. So tempted.

the weather is getting to me..

I basically spent the whole entire day in my bed watching romantic movies, reading Glamour (both in magazine and internet form), and listening to Taylor Swift songs.

I don't know what it is about this cold weather that makes we want to mope and wallow so badly, but it does.
It also doesn't help that theres this boy I've got my eyes on at school, but I almost positive nothing is going to happen. I won't bore you guys with the details because the whole things pretty lame. And trying to condense everything into words would just make me feel even lamer. So I won't.

I'm still here in my bed, dousing myself in some seriously needed Taylor Swift therapy. Currently on repeat: Last Kiss.

monday morning, rain is falling

Finally; after months and months of warm California weather, its finally cold.

And, its officially fall - my favorite season. Time to bring out the jackets, boots, scarves, and fall nail polish. Love love love.
Now, its obvious that I like the grey, cold, rainy weather, but for the sake of rambling and ranting, here are a few pros and cons of this weather. Ready?
Pros:

• It means that life is progressing, going from one season to the next. A.k.a I’m getting closer and closer to graduating by the minute.
• Fall fashion. Again, love love love.
• Watching movies and TV is so much more fun. Granted, I always love watching Tv, but something about being warm and cozy make it a 100 times better.
• School isn’t an oven anymore
• Seasonal drinks at Starbucks. Oh god, the White Peppermint Mocha. Best thing ever.

Cons:

• Getting up in the morning is exponentially more difficult. Its darker in the morning now and my bed is sooooo warm and comfortable. Ugh.
• School is no longer a new thing, it’s very repetitive, infuriating, time consuming, horrible, etc. etc. etc.
• The weather makes me incredibly nostalgic and helpless. ( I warn you now- prepare yourselves for lots of melodramatic/hormonal/pedantic posts from me in the next few months)
• This time, along with the months of spring (march-april) I find myself with a particularly large amount of homework, also known and what I like to call one of the “molasses” periods of school, where it seems endless and December feels like years away, and June feels like lifetimes.

Hey, notice how the Cons are longer than the Pros? Yeah, I'm exceptionally better at complaining than I am at anything else. Whats new?

Today's random make me REALLY happy moment: A guy in my English class told me I was "perfect the way I am". So sweet <3

been awhile..

Oh dear. Its September 25st and I've only posted once this month. I've seriously been slacking.

I'm just here in my bedroom. Doing/pretending/trying/not-really-at-all doing  my homework. And listening to stuff on Pandora. A bunch of boring stuff.

Yeah. Anywhoooo..

Here's the dealio. (I'm aware that that might sound super obnoxious, but I can't/don't want to rephrase it, so just bear with me)(Now this isn't really relevant because I've deleted my dealio. I started this post like a week ago ranting about annoying people and I never had time to finish it. I was trying to complain without being too annoyingly whiny and that didn't really work so I saved it so I could revise it later. But then after a week I didn't really feel like revising because the situation had pasted, and the words weren't really flowing. But now I like the "Heres the dealio" thing and I don't want to delete it. So yeah. Its staying. And there is no dealio.)

Thats it.
XOXO.

schools back!

Ah, the school year is back and so is the procrastination.
I have 5 assignments I should be working on, and yet, I am here. Blogging. About not doing my homework. This is all too familiar.
I just can't do it. Like, I need to wait until 11:00 so that the pressure of finishing and sleeping are there to keep me in line and to keep me focused. I started my homework at 6:45ish, and I've completed all 2 problems. I just keep getting distracted and I can't seem to just sit here and work on my homework. Why am I always so ADD?

Well, I should at least TRY to get another problem done. I hate school. Ehh.

flashmob video

It would've looked so much cooler if they had just shown the birdseyeview footage of the dance. Oh well. Here it is:
http://speaklo.com/feelin.html

lazy saturday

One Tree Hill mini marathon + a pint of coffee ice cream = happiness.

cute hospital boys

So I Facebook stalked one of the patients I roomed today.
Is that bad? Like too creepy?
Because I mean, I remembered his name. And he was just so gorgeous that I just couldn't not look him up. If you had seen him, you'd understand. He was a total god. But is that a good reason for crossing the line? And is it even crossing a line? Its relatively normal to Facebook stalk someone you know, but is it normal to stalk the guy that you roomed in the hospital? I don't know.
Probably not. But you know, I could have been creepier. Like friend requested him or something. But he doesn't know who I am.
And on the off chance that he does remember me, why would he accept it? I mean, I was wearing giant boxy scrubs with my hair up in a pony tail and I'm wearing my ugly glasses (contacts have been irritating my eye), so how do I look cute? Seriously. How am I supposed to look even relatively attractive when I look like a blue block with a really small head? Yeesh. 
Okay, this is definitely going too far. Dedicating an entire post to the guy I "met" for like 5 minutes, I'm pathetic. Or just hormonal. Is guy craziness caused by hormones? I think it is, right? (I'm such a smart intern, haha)
But seriously, so many cute boys at the hospital. And a few doctors. Maybe its because I'm finally being exposed to guys outside of my high school. And guys at my high school are soooo not cute. Thank god I only have year left. And considering that the hospital is five minutes away from my high school, I am sure that the world is filled with many many more cute people. Maybe their names won't be Eric Cornbread (not his actual name btw), but if they are cute, I'm sure they will do.

(This is such a weird post. I started off with the cute hospital boy and how I'm a creeper and somehow I end up with a "missed opportunity, but that is okay" kind of message. What the fuck. I'm a freak. I don't even know. Whatever.)

flash mob

I was in a FLASHMOB today!!! So much fun! I actually got most of the moves, only messed up once! Whoo! Yay for improvements.

AND I just crossed of the first thing off my bucket list! Yayayayayayayayay.

I'll post of video of the flashmob as soon as I get it :)

copy machines, folders, and labels

Those three items in the title have been my life for the past 3 days.
So much for a great, exciting, and educational hospital experience.
The department I'm working in, which for now is general medicine, decided that they needed to update and reorganize all of the information sheets and booklets in the rooms. ALL OF THEM.
So my job is to make 100 copies of all of the handouts. Doesn't seem that bad right? Well, there are 42 handouts. Making 100 copies of each takes 5 minutes. 42 handouts times 5 minutes equals 3.5 hours of my life spent standing in front of that stupid copy machine.
After making all the copies, I have to start counting and separating 20 of the 100 handouts and put it in each folder - which I also made - for all the rooms in my department. 210 folders with their corresponding color and sticker labels.
It could be worse I guess. I do have help from another intern, but that doesn't make up for the fact that while everyone else gets to practice taking vitals and rooming patients, we are crammed into a little storage room covered in paper cuts and drowning in all that paper thats in the room. We need sooooo much more room for what we are doing. Its taking us like 10 times  longer to finish because we have papers piled on papers and we can't organize them into neat little piles because there is simply no room to do that. We just have to dig through all of the clutter to find that one stack of papers we need. And when we find it, we'll realize that in the process of trying to find the papers, we lost the folders that the papers need to go in. We'll have a mini mental breakdown, force a set of deep breaths to insure that we don't go crazy, remind our selves that we only have 1-8 more hours to do, and start digging.

summer job

Tomorrow is the last day of my job orientation and on Friday it starts! Its a paid summer internship at Kaiser Permanente in which I will be a student medical assistant.
I'm getting ready to say goodbye to all my normal summer clothes and start wearing giant boxy scrubs everyday. Yay. I have to order a few more though, because I'm not planning to wash them during the week and shouldn't be wearing them more than once without washing because of the bacteria/viruses from the hospital.
But they are so biggg. Like the XXS is the size of a regular medium T-shirt. It makes my head look so small in proportion because my body is drowning in all that extra fabric.

Its so hot today, Its finally feeling like summer! :)
(I'm trying to forget that I'll have to wear closed toe shoes and pants all summer long.. :[)

licensed

I just got my license! Yay! And now that summer has started, I'll have the freedom to actually do stuff! No more waiting around for my parents to drive me, because I can do it MYSELF. 

Whooo! <3

one more day

..And it'll be summer. I've already gotten through all my tough finals, so that leaves just English and ROP Medical Assisting. All I have to do for English is to take a vocabulary test and read the introduction essay from my final project to the class. For ROP, were watching a movie and having a potluck.

ONE DAY!

so close!

ONLY FOUR MORE DAYS OF SCHOOL. AHHHHH!!!!!

But. Its raining. And its cold. In June. Whats up with the California weather??

But still. Summer is summer. I cannot wait! So so so close! <3

best friends and traditions

My favorite best-friend tradition: Not seeing school plays. This meaning spending two hours on the school football field doing who knows what.

It all started two years ago - freshman year of high school:
Planned on seeing a school play → arrived late - no late seating → stayed at school waiting for intermission → found other friend that was volunteering to watch the kids while the parents watched the play → they had extra limes from making limeade → we took two → went to fake grass foot ball field to play catch → threw lime → didn't catch lime → it was dark so we couldn't find the limes → created a new game : "find the lime" → started having fun → ran around field in dark → sang Taylor Swift loudly and off-key → decided to stay on field instead of watching play → laid around field → got later and darker → bleachers started creaking → got scared → scariness added excitement → excitement = fun → had lots of fun → decided to do that again every year.

 Lastnight was the third year of not seeing plays. A few additions made - mostly things to keep us warm and ipod + portable speakers , food, and flashlights.

AND, Dun dun dun... we conquered the scary bleachers! We touched them. Almost. Well, the fence. But it counts,  it was only two feet away. And it was for safety reasons, like what if we had jumped the fence and some creepy guy hiding under the beachers came after us? It would be alot harder to run away if we had to jump over the fence again. And it was also the fact that I threw some hot chocolate at my friend when I thought I heard a voice behind me.  Me screaming + arms flailing = hot chocolate spilling. But it was lukewarm by the end of the night. So its okay. Its not like I burned her, she just got a hot chocolate facial. I bet it was very moisturizing.

XOXO ( I always hear "xoxo, gossip girl" in my head when I type that...)

i hate titles

Yesterday night my mom and I dropped off my dad at the airport. He'll be in Vietnam for three months. Such a long time.
I love and hate being alone at home (only until my mom gets home from work) at the same time. I love having the freedom to do whatever I want. I love having the whole house to myself for several hours. I love being able to walk around the house in my underwear. BUT, When it gets a little later or I hear something, I get all paranoid, grab my dogs, lock my bedroom door, and just sit in here and wait for my mom to come home.

itty bitty randoms things:
- I have really bad allergies. *sneeze*
- I've can't find my tweezers, my chapstick, and my peanut-shaped eraser. The desk fairy is soo after my things.
- I love playing solitaire before going to bed. Its fun in a boring-put-you-to-sleep kinda way.
- I'm craving coffee ice cream. I want some so baddd.
- I need to get my hair trimmed. Or maybe just thinned. Because I really do like like my hair long. But its too thick for my liking - well it doesn't look thick, it just feels like it. And I can feel it weighing down my head.
- I feel like that last bullet would be such an awkward end to this post, so I am just stalling. And hopefully that'll make it less awkward.
- Was it successful?